Finding motivation and accountability in life: my personal reflections

During one of the coach training workshops recently, we were looking at how to help clients maintain motivation and commitment to their goals even when challenges come. I have often asked myself how to keep alive that first spark and navigate through the inevitable hurdles that come up. Actually, no matter how easy this is to say, it is not easy to practice as there are moments when the initial enthusiasm begins waning. Then what makes us continue even as change seems daunting, emotions sometimes uncomfortable and setbacks always come along?

Here’s what holds me up:

Getting close to turning 40 has made me view life more holistically. By being existential about it, I have been able to look back at the last ten years with all its triumphs as well as failures while at the same time visualizing where I will be for the next two decades. What do I want? Where do I want to live? What should I look like? Etc. It’s like an atlas leading me toward my dreams and making them realizable with time. Though age might be just a number, it reminds us that every moment counts; therefore, make use of opportunities now!

However, change is not easy. We must let go of our comfortable identities which we’ve had for years and influenced our interactions with others around us. The transition into unchartered territories can be distressing, coming along with emotions such as shame and guilt, among others.

As I navigate through my own journey, I can confirm that the struggle is real!

During this journey, I’ve discovered the transformative power of “The Choice Point” technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), introduced by Dr. Russ Harris

The Choice Point is a simple yet profound concept — the key to making decisions that align with our goals and values. The Choice Point technique is like standing at a crossroads in your life. Imagine two paths — one leading towards the person you want to be and the other away from it. You have a choice in every moment.

To make the right choice, think about what actions, thoughts, and values will bring you closer to your goals. Also, carefully note down things that hold you back — destructive behaviours, negative feelings, or stories you tell yourself that take you away from your desired self.

Even when motivation is low, remind yourself of the person you want to become. In each moment, choose actions and thoughts that align with that vision, guiding you toward your goals.

Even if motivation is low, remind yourself of the person you want to become. Choose actions and thoughts in each moment that are consistent with your vision guiding you toward your goals.

However, staying motivated and accountable can be difficult, but there are other ways I used for myself:

1. Break it down: Breaking big goals into smaller, more manageable steps helps me stay motivated. It’s like mini-victories along the way.

2. Visualize success: Visualizing accomplishing my goals keeps me going. This fuels my motivation and reminds me of why I started it in the first place.

3. Accountability partners: Sharing your goals with someone you trust or joining a gathering of like-minded individuals (via training programs, community programs, coaching, etc.) can offer both support and responsibility. It is just like having someone cheering for you!

4. Celebrate progress: Appreciate every achievement, no matter how small. Write it down! Recognizing progress is vital to staying motivated.

5. Stay flexible: Not everything goes as planned when life happens. If need be, adaptable and adjust your goals if needed.

So, whether turning thirty- forty- fifty- etc., or any other milestone begins in your life, remember that motivation is not the end but the journey itself. Keep on exploring what motivates you best, set those goals which match your values most accurately, and embrace the whole process fully.