Discovering and living in alignment with your values

Sometimes back, I was somewhat stuck and lost- I think that is what you call a life crisis. That’s when I found a great coach to help me reconnect with myself. Working with the coach taught me so much and it was as if I discovered another universe in life. We easily forget what truly matters whenever life gets in the way with its competing priorities and endless to-do lists. However, do we ever reflect on our values while putting out fires?

Values are simply principles and beliefs that are important to us. They determine how we think and act and which areas of our lives take priority over others. Set of values differs from person to person because they come from different experiences and beliefs.

For example, someone who appreciates creativity will look for outlets through which they can express themselves artistically or bring innovative ideas where feasible. On the other hand, if family comes first, then one will feel dissatisfied when forced by circumstances to choose work over family. Sometimes we have conflicting values (for example, work AND family), and this is where it’s important to find the right balance that brings fulfillment.

Knowing your values is a priceless gift that can change your life forever; but it takes being vulnerable with yourself along with honesty–two skills often terribly hard because usually it means contradicting societal norms or satisfying other people’s wishes.

Uncovering Your Own Values

The therapeutic approach called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is highly effective in helping people understand their personal values on a deeper level. ACT enhances psychological flexibility so individuals can navigate difficult thoughts and emotions while still honoring their values.

One particular method involves intense self-reflection using guided questions such as:

1. Identify key areas of life: Think about different areas like relationships, career, personal growth, health, leisure etc.

2. Recall positive experiences: Remember moments when you felt truly fulfilled or satisfied. What were you proud of? When were you really happy? Who do you feel a deep connection with?

3. Explore the significance of those moments; what made them valuable? What values were there in those instances? For example, if you felt joy during a family gathering, “family” might be a core value.

4. Find role models. Think about people you look up to. What values do they have that resonate with you? This could give you some insight into your own values.

5. Think about where you want your future to go: What do you want it to look like? Which aspects of your life are important?

6. Rank your values. Once you have a few in mind, figure out which ones matter most to you and give you a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

7. Make a list. Put all these together to make an official list of core values. Use them as guiding principles for decision-making and actions throughout life.

Alternatively, consider partnering with a coach or asking yourself introspective questions such as:

• What aspects of life am I unwilling to let go of no matter what? Why do these things hold value for me?

• Think back on times when I was truly happy or fulfilled; what values were present then? How did these align with my own?

• Where do I invest my time, money, and energy? Is there a common thread among these choices?

• Which moments bring me the most pride and joy? And why are they so special?

Living in Alignment with Your Values

Identifying personal values is only the beginning; now it’s time for them to shape our lives. Personally speaking, my own values include family, financial security, and creativity. No one can predict the future, but I know that once uncovered, they quickly transformed how I approached everything else in life. Finding out who I wanted to spend time with or deciding what organization to work for was all made easier when I realized that if something didn’t fit in with one of my core values, it wasn’t for me, now I only take steps down a path that benefits me and brings fulfillment.

Living in alignment with personal values isn’t always easy. Society does not follow the same rules as us and will challenge our priorities at every turn. But once we can see these obstacles we become strategic enough to stay true to ourselves and keep our own interests at the forefront where they belong. We have no way of knowing why, but our values are fundamental to who we are, so stop justifying them to everyone else.

Take a moment to reflect on your own values and then tweak your life around them; redefine relationships or reshape your career so that you’re walking a more meaningful path. When you prioritize your authentic self, your life transforms toward a more genuine one that aligns with your values.